Crazy lady in line at the bank:I have a question for you, since you have a skateboard.
Lady:How come, even with a sign up, I get kids jumping off my building?
Me:Uhh, I have no idea.
Lady:I have two signs that say NO SKATING and these skateboarders keep jumping off my building.
Me:I don't know them, so I really have no idea.
My brain:Bitch, you think just because I have a skateboard, I'm some kind of four-wheel menace to society? You don't know me. Fuck you. And FYI it's a longboard, you can't even do fucking tricks on it.
“We had dinner last night. She made me spaghetti with little hot dogs cut up in it. Well, hot dog. I gave up the other five hot dogs to a real dog. A real big dog. A hellhound.”—Sheldon and the Hellhound, or How I Lost My Hot Dogs